To Invite Kids or Not?

Today I wanted to discuss a touchy topic.  Kids or no kids at your reception…I absolutely ADORE children.  My niece and nephew are the lights of my life!  I am incredibly close with my fiance’s four nieces and nephew.  My best friend is a mother of six.  I am a former preschool teacher.  I go to every kiddo birthday party I can for family and friends.  But for our special day,  I had to make a tough choice about whether to have kids at the wedding.

Being that my fiance and I are getting married a little later than our loved ones, the majority of  our wedding guests are parents.  While we would normally LOVE to include our loved ones’ children, we simply did not have space in our venue.  Our venue is a smaller space and to keep our guest list down due to space constraints, we decided to have an adult only affair excluding the bridal party.  We are delighted to have our nieces and nephews in the wedding, however, there will be no children otherwise.  I know I know!  It is not ideal, however, it is our day and that is what works best for us!

So, you may ask…how does one broach that topic?  We politely spread the word that due to space constraints this would be an adult only affair.  We also included an information card in our invitation suite.  The card included details such as our wedding website, location details, attire details, addressed the kiddo deal (hey parents deserve a night off!), and much more.

My best advice to you is do what works for you and your fiance.  That is all that matters.  Whether due to space, budget, time, location, whatever…if no kids is what you want for your reception, it’s ok!  You will be surprised how understanding and supportive those around you will be.

A nice way to let your guests know about your decision would be…”With respect, we would like our special day to be an adult only occasion.”  We used this on our information card. Another option is, “Parents enjoy a night of dinner and dancing at this adult only affair.” This appears on our wedding website.

So, do tell did you or will you have kids or no kids at your reception???

Only two days left…Don’t worry…My sister’s guest posts won’t be ending. After she’s had a chance to relax from all this wedding planning, she’ll be sharing some fabulous DIY’s with us!

Comments

  1. says

    My husband and I have a very small family. My sister is the only one with kids so we had room for them at our Reception. We only had about 20 people at our reception and it was a good size! Not too small and not too big! :)
    Plus the kids had a fun time with the little coloring/activity books we got them to keep them occupied. :)
    I think it all depends on your venue and what you want like you said!

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  2. Tara Puigdomenech says

    Hi Jessica,
    I agree with you totally. I LOVE children. On our wedding day, however, we decided it would be a celebration with adults only. I offered to provide a babysitter for the kiddos during the wedding and reception (but, no one took us up on that offer).
    I did get many negative comments along the way. But, I am glad that we decided to do it.
    Congratulations! I wish you and your hubby all the happiness in the world.
    Tara

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  3. says

    such a touchy subject! just went to two weddings this month, and children were not invited. found out because i inquired early on so i could plan accordingly. think this becomes more of an issue based on age, your friends. have to make a judgment call but ultimately remember that it’s your event, and your decision, can’t be guilted into it. if everyone has kids however, perhaps there’s a way — in some spaces — to create a kids night, or coordinate locally to offer babysitters in hotel rooms (you don’t have to pay, just have the information). a big help if parents want to bring their children to enjoy the rest of the weekend..

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    The BonBon Rose Girls Reply:

    Great ideas A!

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  4. says

    We got married at an art gallery with a reception immediately following in the other room. The gallery didn’t really want us to have kids there and we didn’t disagree. We hired a sitting service and put them up at a room in a nearby hotel. Some of the parents were glad for free childcare and a few hours away with the adults, but I had plenty of negative comments as well. One family friend in particular thought I was being exclusive to her family. I reminded her that they did not have to leave their child with my hired service and could use their own and also that she was welcome to her opinion, but it would not change mine. I didn’t hear another peep out of her or her husband after that. The kids had a great time playing games with the sitters and probably preferred being with other kids and not having to dress up.

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  5. says

    I think it’s totally up to the couple, but to play devil’s advocate, it can be quite difficult for parents to find sitters too and that may prevent some guests from coming? Plus, should you specify an age cap for what “kids” count as? Teenagers are kinda in a grey zone and could be seen as legitimate guests.

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